Kuala lumpur: When the former wife of a popular 1990s actor recently revealed that 'cold violence' was the reason behind their marital breakdown, it sparked a heated debate.
According to BERNAMA News Agency, for years, domestic violence was often equated with physical abuse-bruises, scars, and broken bones. But her story shed light on another form of abuse, one less visible but equally destructive: emotional neglect and withdrawal. Experts warn that this 'silent cruelty' leaves deep psychological wounds and is far more common than many realize. Victims may not even recognize they are being abused until the damage is done.
In the realm of family life, 'cold violence' may not leave bruises or scars, but its wounds run just as deep. Dr. Rozanizam Zakaria, a psychiatrist and lecturer at the International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM), described it as a form of emotional abuse where one partner deliberately withdraws all forms of communication or support-be it verbal, physical, or financial. The intent, he explained, is clear: to punish, control, or force the other partner into compliance.
Unlike physical abuse, which can be seen and documented, cold violence is difficult to detect and even harder to prove. This gives perpetrators wide leeway to deny wrongdoing. Victims, meanwhile, are often left feeling invisible, stripped of self-worth, and trapped in severe emotional distress. Dr. Rozanizam emphasized that cultural or legal systems may not even recognize such behavior as abuse, depriving victims of protection or official support.
According to Rozanizam, cold violence is broader and more prolonged, marked by complete withdrawal from emotional connection and communication across multiple aspects of a relationship. Silent treatment, on the other hand, tends to focus more narrowly on withholding verbal or social interaction. While it can be a tactic of emotional abuse, its intent and severity vary.
When asked whether men or women are more prone to practicing cold violence, Rozanizam said anyone can do it. However, patterns show it is often used by individuals seeking to maintain control or reacting to perceived threats to their power or status in a relationship. He noted that perpetrators might not fully recognize or admit that their behavior amounts to cold violence. This form of emotional abuse involves a deliberate withdrawal of communication and support, often carried out subtly-sometimes without even the perpetrator realizing it.
Research shows that cold violence often thrives on what is known as 'plausible deniability.' Because it leaves no physical evidence and involves emotional withdrawal rather than outright aggression, perpetrators can easily deny wrongdoing, claiming they 'didn't do' anything harmful.
The damage caused by cold violence is not only invisible but also deeply psychological. In the short term, victims often experience confusion and self-doubt, questioning their own memory, perceptions, and feelings-so much so that they struggle to trust themselves. In the long term, the consequences can be far more severe, with victims potentially developing major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other psychiatric symptoms.
Many may wonder whether 'cold violence' falls under Malaysian law and if there are legal protections available for victims trapped in toxic relationships. Syariah lawyer Muhammad Shafiq Ibrahim explained that, by definition, cold violence refers to a passive form of emotional or psychological abuse. Although the term itself does not explicitly appear in Malaysian law, its essence is already captured within broader legal definitions.
When it comes to court proceedings, proving cold violence can be far more challenging than proving physical abuse. Passive acts-such as prolonged silence or emotional withdrawal-are extremely difficult to establish without a consistent pattern of behavior. However, Muhammad Shafiq noted that it is not impossible if victims gather the right evidence, which could include psychiatric or psychological reports.